How to Calm Down when Anxious

What can we do to control our nervous system and calm down when anxiety and panic strikes?


When we panic (or have anxiety attacks) a number of things happen to us. And we should know that in panic and high anxiety the symptoms that we experience are the same. The difference lies in the build up: anxiety usually builds up slowly, getting stronger and stronger until it becomes a full-blown attack; panic occurs instantly, usually in response to a clear and imminent threat or danger. An anxiety attack is, in effect, panic.

In both anxiety and panic we become jumpy and jittery, on-edge, charged with energy, ready for action. We feel 'in a rush', needing to do something. This can also be seen at times when we are not anxious or panicked, but actually in a rush, for example when we are late for something. In such situations we often feel anxious
and 'panicky'.

This charge of energy within our body comes from two main things: our breathing and heartbeat - they both become considerably faster. We breathe faster to get more oxygen into the bloodstream to feed the main muscles for action (arms, chest, legs) and the heart speeds up to get this oxygen around our body to these muscles more quickly.

This 'rush', this charge of energy for action lies at the heart of anxiety attacks and panic. And when there is no real danger or threat (one we need the 'rush' to escape from) in order to calm down, we need to slow down and slow our body down.

The one way that we can actually reverse this process is by slowing down our breathing. Here, we, ourselves, can positively influence our nervous system by the physical action we take. By learning to breathe more slowly and deeply we can calm down.

And it's not just the speed of our breathing that is important but also how deeply we breathe. Fast shallow breathing reduces the level of Carbon Dioxide in the blood and can lead to further panic inducing symptoms. (This is why some people breathe into paper bags).

By replacing the fast, shallow breathing of anxiety and panic with deep slow breathing, where we breathe from the diaphragm (the muscular wall separating the lungs from the stomach) we redress the oxygen-CO2 balance in the body and promote a feeling of calmness.

Try diaphragmatic breathing:-

1. Take a deep breath in through your nose for a slow count of four
 (imagine the air filling your stomach, not lungs, and feel it expand)

2. Hold for a slow count of four

3. Breathe out through your mouth for a slow count of four
(imagine your stomach pushing the air out)

4. Hold for a slow count of four

5. Repeat 3 or 4 times, no more.

How do you feel?

With practice you can use this technique to calm down in those times you feel anxious or panicky where there is no real danger.

A very important thing to realise about the above is that knowing what is happening and why dramatically increases the power of the technique. Just telling someone who is panicking to breathe more slowly and deeply doesn't have the same effect.

With anxiety and panic we need to know what is happening and why to be able to take real control.

What Causes Physical Anxiety Symptoms

Speeding heart, fast shallow breathing, dizziness, sweating etc. What causes these symptoms?

When we talk about the physical symptoms that we experience when we are anxious there is a whole range of sensations and feelings that can happen to our body. These may vary from person to person, but they all happen in the same way and for the same reason - the reason that we have the anxiety in the first place: to warn us of danger and help us deal with it or get away from it.

Physical anxiety symptoms include:-

• Our breathing becomes more rapid
• Our heart beat speeds up
• We feel dizzy and light-headed
• We get 'butterflies' in our stomach
• We feel sick and/or need the toilet
• Our mouth becomes dry and it feels difficult to swallow
• We can experience profuse sweating
• We feel 'jittery' and 'jumpy' a feeling of being 'on-edge'

All these symptoms happen for one reason: to energize us for action.

Here's how:-

• Our breathing becomes more rapid to get more oxygen into the blood to supply the major body muscles (arms, legs, chest)
• Our heartbeat speeds up to get the blood to these muscles quicker.
• Blood is diverted from the brain (making us light-headed and dizzy and from the stomach (causing 'butterflies').
• Energy cannot be wasted processing any half-digested food in our system so we need to get rid of it quickly – either through the mouth (feelings of nausea) or the other end (wanting to go to the toilet).
• Other 'energy-wasting' systems (unnecessary in time of danger) are shut down eg. saliva production, giving us a dry mouth and difficulty swallowing.
• We sweat more to cool down all this energy production.
• The energy boost to the muscles makes them 'jumpy' / 'jittery' / 'jelly-like'/ on edge ready for action

This energizing of our body is responsible for all the anxiety and panic symptoms that we experience. Some of the symptoms may be enhanced by our thoughts, for example, a dry throat with subsequent perceived difficulty swallowing, may be built up into feeling we are choking, but in essence everything that is happening to our body is a result of it being prepared for action.

All physical anxiety and panic symptoms result from the body re-directing resources to the major muscle groups (legs/arms/chest) to provide them with an energy boost to prepare us for action, ultimately to stand and fight or flee. It is known as the fight-or-flight response. Much the same can happen with anger, for in anger we are also preparing for action.
After we have been angry, anxious or panic-stricken this charge of energy needs to be released and it is done so by such things as crying and shaking – often seen after anger and panic.

We need to realise that all the above symptoms are normal and natural. Indeed, when we experience these symptoms, there is nothing wrong with us; our body is, in fact, working perfectly. What is wrong, the core of anxiety disorders and depression, is the reason why we experience these symptoms. What in life are we
associating with danger and why?

How to Overcome Anxiety and Fear

Extreme nervousness and apprehension, excessive worrying and obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviours, anxiety attacks and panic attacks, irrational fears and phobias, even severe depression - are all based on anxiety and fear.

Millions of people spend a lifetime searching for the answer to these problems. Many undergo therapy or take medication for years, often with little success.

They can seem impossible to deal with and make us feel that we'll never be free ... but it doesn't have to be like this.
With the right knowledge it is possible to cure all these problems completely.

There is one way to truly overcome anxiety and fear, here it is:-

1. Grade things that cause you anxiety on a scale from 1-10 (more if you need to).
10 = situations / circumstances / compulsions / thoughts / tasks etc. that cause only very mild anxiety. 1 = the most terrifying.

2. Start with number 10.
Feel the anxiety, let it happen and control it by accepting it and relaxing. Note that here it is very important that you actually have anxiety, feel it and feel yourself control it. The goal is not to be anxiety free, everyone has anxiety but for some of us we have become more sensitive to it. The aim is to experience a small amount
of anxiety at the lowest level and learn that we can control it. To feel ourselves control it.

3. Move to level 9.
Do the same as before. Feel the anxiety and feel yourself controlling it.

4. Gradually move up through the levels.
Only move to the next level when you have mastered taking control at each level. Remember, nobody in this world has no anxiety - it is part of being human. Taking control is feeling scared but remaining calm, not letting it progress to panic.